Witchouse is a late-90′s Full Moon flick that lives up to the expectations of their other movies from that time. On other sites that have reviewed Full Moon movies, especially from this time period, there is constant mention of Full Moon’s “formula” and well, Witchouse is another example of it in practice.
The movie opens with a “good looking” couple pulling up to a massive house in what has to be Romania (it is) and enter to find themselves in a giant room that looks like it fell victim to the Halloween clearance isle at Hobby Lobby. Clearly, there is going to be a séance of some sort in here because well… who the fuck would willingly do this?
Our characters include a jock, bitchy queen girl, stoner, skeptical nerd guy, shy nerd guy, bad ass chick and finally, Elizabeth, the creepy witch chick. Elizabeth brings a nerdy girl with her, but we’ll get in to that later. Usually stoners are the high-point of b-horror flicks, however such is not the case here. From the joke of a ‘device’ to his general mannerisms and character, the stoner fellow (the sadly deceased Dave Oren Ward) fails to live up to my expectations. I’m probably going to hell for criticizing someone who has passed away.
The other characters are, as their typecasts indicate, pretty lame. If you have seen a group like this in a Full Moon movie, then you’ve seen them all. Noone really stands out aside from Auriana Albright as the ‘lead witch’ Lilith. Even at that, her performance leaves a lot to be desired..even by FM standards.
This really isn’t worth a lot of time in reviewing because it all feels like something I have seen before even down to the “Suck you in with deaths in the first five minutes” deal that Full Moon seems to have mastered.
This is largely forgettable and while I don’t necessarily feel like I wasted my time watching this, Witchouse is definitely a ‘one and out’ movie. I hear good things about the second and third installments of this series, so we’ll see what happens later. For now, I’m Witchoused out.
** out of 5.
